5 tips if you just got engaged
We’ve just gotten through the holidays, and Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. In the wedding biz, that means one thing: there are a lot of newly engaged couples out there. If you are one of those people who got an extra special gift recently - congratulations! I hope you’re popping champagne and celebrating with friends and family. Here are a few tips to think about as you begin your wedding planning journey.
Take your time getting started. Once you start wedding planning - even setting a date - a lot can start to snowball quickly. Don’t skip the part of enjoying your newly engaged bliss. Tell your engagement story, celebrate as a couple, and enjoy this moment together. Once wedding planning starts, it can become busy and stressful. There’s no need to rush.
When you’re ready to start planning, spend some time thinking about what time of year you want to get married - what season reflects you as a couple. I think couples can get hung up trying to pick a date that “looks” good - think 11/11/11 - but there’s more to it than that. Your wedding will have an entirely different look to it depending on what time of year you pick. If you want fall leaves, look at photos from a year back to see approximately which weeks the leaves changed colors (I checked this on photographers’ social media accounts!). If you want a winter wedding, think about whether you’d like it to have a holiday feel or not. You can have a beautiful snowy wedding after the holidays - but just remember that weather is nearly impossible to predict. Once you narrow down your timeframe, pick a date that works for you as a couple. It doesn’t hurt to check with your closest family and friends to make sure it works for the people you couldn’t dream of not having there.
Start with the big stuff. Now that you have a date, you can book your vendors. Prioritize the vendors who are most important to you. Everyone will have an opinion of who you should book first, but ultimately, you want to start by booking the vendors who hold the most meaning to you and your partner. For me, that was a photographer. For you, it may be a specific planner, florist, or your dream venue. You will want to make sure you put down your deposit and sign the contract so your date is secured. After that, you can take your time on the rest of the details.
Stay organized, and write things down as you go. I kept a spreadsheet throughout my planning process (you can find the template in my book). I had a separate tab for each type of vendor (photographer, videographer, etc), the guest list, and so on. I created a venue map and used Google Drawings to map out guest seating, the aisle, the cake stand, gift table, floral focal points, and so on. Your venue may even have a blueprint-style floor plan you can use as a starting point. But if not, you can make this yourself. I also kept a “don’t forget” list (also linked in my book), where I would write down anything I thought of during the planning process that I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget to pack for the wedding day itself. Months later, when you’re getting ready to pack your bag for the big day, you’ll be glad you have a list of everything you thought of leading up to that point.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You will probably have a lot of family members and friends asking you what they can do. Take them up on it! It’s easy to become overwhelmed by all the little details, particularly in the last 1-2 months before the big day. Think of it like outsourcing. If there’s something you haven’t had time to do, don’t really feel excited to do, or think someone else would be good at - ask for help with those things! A few ideas that come to mind are preparing table markers, place cards, favors, a card box (for cards and monetary gifts), a welcome sign, ordering biodegradable tossing petals, sparklers, or packs of bubbles for your exit, and any other DIY tasks. Your family and friends love you and want to be part of your day, so they will be delighted to pitch in, and it might just make the whole process a lot more fun!
Wherever you are in your journey to the aisle, don’t forget to enjoy this time. It may feel stressful, but before you know it, it will be over. Try to focus on the positives of planning your dream day, and keep in mind that if there are things that aren’t perfect, you are probably the only one who will notice. Congratulations on your engagement!
